


Hold Me Together So I Don't Fall Apart

by cndyprfumegirl



Series: You Are My Home [7]
Category: Demet Ozdemir, Dogdugun Ev Kaderindir, Ibrahim Celikkol, Turkish Dizi - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23241760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cndyprfumegirl/pseuds/cndyprfumegirl
Series: You Are My Home [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670797
Kudos: 2





	Hold Me Together So I Don't Fall Apart

This is a rewrite of Zeynep and Mehdi's last argument in Episode 9. Much of the dialogue is pulled straight from the episode, until it isn't. :)

On their wedding night, Zeynep told Mehdi never to touch her, and he didn't. Even when he wanted to--even when she wanted him to, he kept his word. That's the kind of man he is, Mehdi.

He waited for her, and when he told her to stay with him, when he asked her not to go, she was so relieved and so happy that she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. She tucked her face into his shoulder, his neck and she breathed him in. Something about his scent was so familiar. He just smelled like him, but Zeynep was drawn to his scent, like a memory from a previous life that drew her closer and told her this was where she belonged. When he held her for the first time, it was everything, and after that, everything changed.

How could someone who was unknown to her less than a month ago be the one who she reached for when she needed comfort? How was it that when she felt like she was falling apart, his strong arms around her kept her together? Now his touch is her peace; his arms around her are her protection.

When he told her about his relationship with Benal, the wall she was slowly taking down brick by brick quickly built itself back up. She was falling in love with him; he was the only man she'd ever trusted and he'd broken her trust. Not only that, but she knew something he didn't know; the idea that Benal might be carrying his child was more than she could bear. She needed him to hold her now more than ever, but she couldn't lean on him. She was so disappointed in him, but more than that she was scared to death she might lose him.

She stayed with Nermin at her country house for a while to get herself together, but she made her way back to the home she shared with Mehdi for Kibrit. She managed to mostly avoid Mehdi. She was still so hurt, and she couldn't stand to see the pain and longing in his eyes when he looked at her.

Zeynep and Kibrit sat together in Sakine's room, studying and discussing plans for Kibrit's schooling when Mehdi came in. Kibrit not-so-discreetly left the room, with an admonition to Mehdi to gain Zeynep's forgiveness.

"I would ask you if you're okay, but I can see that you're not," Mehdi said. Zeynep knew he didn't understand where her anger was coming from, and she couldn't tell him. "So your anger hasn't passed," he said, getting up from the settee against the wall to sit at the table with her. He tossed his prayer beads carelessly on top of one of the books on the table.

"How many hours can I be angry? Tell me so I don't cross the line," Zeynep said. She knew she was being petty, but she was tired of being controlled. "After all, you know better than I do what I need to know and what I don't, and you know better how I feel, right?" Her words were cutting on purpose, and she saw Mehdi flinch before she got up from the table.

Mehdi took a deep breath before he looked up at her. "Zeynep, I've apologized, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have. But this isn't that easy, Mehdi" she snapped. "It takes a while for a person to put herself back together after she's been broken, right?" He blinked at her as he took in her words, let her hit him with her resentment. "You asked me who I am, and you even asked if I was a person who had seen different worlds. Now I'm asking myself, who is Mehdi?" Her voice was bitter, her face hard. He yearned to see her softness again. He wanted to earn back the one who was brave enough to hold his hand, kiss his cheek, smile at him shyly, cry in his arms.

"Because I was jealous, Zeynep! I was jealous, do you understand? Don't do this, I'm begging you," he said. "Come, go to your room," he said, reaching for her arm.

She dodged his hand. "Mehdi, do you think the issue is the room? Are you aware of what I'm fighting? I can't find a place to put what's happened, what I found out!" she said, her voice raising. She was losing the battle trying to control her emotions.

"I know it wasn't pleasant, the way you found out about my past with Benal. I apologize. I apologize a hundred times. But I didn't know how to tell you. If only this had never happened..."

"If only," Zeynep said, her voice laced with irony. Mehdi looked stricken. His eyes were wide in a mixture of desperation, pleading, and horror at this situation he couldn't seem to get himself out of. How would he ever make it up to her? How would he earn her trust again? He didn't know how, but he knew he had to. He needed her forgiveness more than anything.

"Do you think I'm acting this way because of jealousy?" Zeynep asked. "Do you think I'm really such a fanatical person? Of course you had relationships before me. You think I'm acting this way because I'm jealous? Am I you, Mehdi?"

"Am I fanatical?" Mehdi asked, taken aback by her implication. "Huh? With one mistake you've thrown me out of your heart? Your feelings have ended? Is this what you're telling me now?"

"Mehdi, you don't know how scared I was. I thought..." her words tumbled out of her now, the real reason for her disquiet coming to the surface. He could see her fear written plainly on her face. What could she be afraid of? Surely not that she could lose him to Benal?

"You thought what, Zeynep? Why are you scared? Tell me," he begged. His voice became gentle, and his eyes went soft. "Tell me." He wished he could take her in his arms and hold onto her until she wasn't afraid anymore. The look on her face told him she wanted the same thing, despite the words she had spoken, and the venom with which she'd spoken them.

He took a step toward her and he held her face in his hands, and they searched each other's eyes. The tension between them was thick. She stood absolutely still for a few seconds, but then she reached up to pull his head down to hers and she kissed him, her lips soft against his. He was so surprised that his eyes stayed open for a moment. Her eyes were closed, her eyebrows drawn together, and a tear fell slowly down her cheek. He ran his thumb over her cheek to wipe away the wetness on her skin and his eyes fell closed. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would jump out of his chest.

He broke the kiss to look down at her and she whined in protest, making him smile. Her eyes were still closed, her lips still slightly parted and pouty, ready to be kissed again. He touched his lips to hers again, deepening the contact. They kissed again and again, slowly and tenderly, just lips. Her hands slid forward from the back of his head to hold his face, and her thumbs stroked his mustache as she continued to kiss him.

He kissed her thumbs, then moved back to her beautiful lips. He took her bottom lip between his and swept his tongue swept over her, sucking on her lightly. She whimpered and his arms came around her to hold her tightly against him; she wound her arms around his neck in response. He couldn't believe this was happening, but he never wanted it to end. His tongue teased the seam of her lips, asking for permission to enter, and she granted it.

They both needed this. They gave into their need for each other, their growing attraction and affection for each other. Zeynep held onto him like he'd disappear if she loosened her hold on him. "I'm here, Zeynep," Mehdi said against her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open and she pulled back to look at him. Her lashes were wet and her cheeks were flushed and she'd never looked more beautiful to him.

"Mehdi, I'm sorry...I--" she started.

Mehdi kissed her again. "Don't ever apologize for kissing your husband, Zeynep."

She smiled slightly and looked down. "I'm still mad at you, Mehdi. I'm still afraid."

He rubbed his hands up and down her back. "Zeynep, please come with me to our room. Let's talk. Tell me what you're scared of. I can't help the fear go away if I don't know what's causing it. I don't want you to be afraid of anything or worry about anything, do you understand?" he asked, holding her face in his hands. "Especially not about me. I mean, you know how I feel about you." He looked away from her eyes for a second; he suddenly felt shy. His hands moved to the top of her head and stroked her hair, stopping to hold her face again. He looked back down at her, and her eyes were anxious and expectant. "That is, you know that I've fallen in love with you, Zeynep. I love you," he said.

She smiled brightly, but then her face crumpled and tears fell unchecked from her eyes. "Mehdi, don't tell me you love me."

"Zeynep, Vallah, it's the truth. I don't know how to stop feeling this way, and I swear to you I will never lie to you or hide anything from you again."

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him hard on the lips. She wrapped her arms tightly around his back and laid her head on his chest. He promised not to hide anything from her, but what she feared about Benal and the child she carried crushed her heart with its weight. She knew if the child was his, she would have to leave, but she didn't want to leave Mehdi; she wanted to stay with him and take root in his heart. "Please just hold me. I need you to hold me together so I don't fall apart."

He enfolded her in his strong arms and stroked her hair. "Always, Zeynep."


End file.
